


Of Beards, Braids, and Getting Laid

by JorrunFulhelm



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Day Dreaming, Gen, M/M, Multi, Sexual Fantasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9107017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JorrunFulhelm/pseuds/JorrunFulhelm
Summary: Bilbo is not as innocent as he really seems, having quite a few lovers in the Shire, so he spends his time daydreaming about each of the dwarves in turn.....In my view Hobbits don't deny themselves any comfort including sex.





	1. Bofur, Fili, and Kili...

**Author's Note:**

> this idea just came to me, I will cycle through all of the company if I can.
> 
> feel free to comment.
> 
> unbeta-ed, owns nothing.

Bilbo Baggins was a great many things, a prude he most certainly was not. Why back in the Shire he had many a lover whenever and wherever he pleased. Now that he was on the road though, his needs were not being met like they usually were. Of course he neglected to mention it to anyone, it WAS a private matter....only now Bilbo was realizing that he missed more than his arm chair and books.

He looked wistfully on the company ahead of him. The dwarves that had invaded his home were nothing like what his books had told him. Sure they were loud and somewhat crass but they were also funny and sweet. Bilbo found himself becoming good friends with many of them. His mind wandered again to the dwarf closest to him, Bofur.

Sweet, jovial Bofur. Bilbo hummed to himself....now that would be a fun lay. He could see it all now. Bilbo would grab him by that ridiculous hat and kiss him until they were both breathless. He pictured them falling into a stack of hay in old Mayweather's barn like he had done with others when he was a tween. Between giggles and gasps they would take turns marking each other with their mouths. Bilbo absently wondered if Bofur's mustache would tickle. He imagined those strong arms pinning him down, spreading him open at his leisure. Over all, Bilbo concluded, that tumble would be just like the dwarf.....Fun.

Smiling to himself Bilbo allowed his mind to wander to another member of their group. Fili. Oh bright, beautiful Fili! Bilbo's gaze landed on the heir of Durin and he smiled. He could see Fili approaching him, bold as brass circling him like prey and Bilbo would enjoy every second of it. He might even allow himself to get caught too. Those moustache braids gave Bilbo some wicked ideas about what to do with Fili's mouth...he could hold onto them as he thrust between his lips. But Bilbo being a civilized Hobbit would not let the young prince go unsatisfied, why it just wasn't good manners! 

Thinking about one brother Bilbo couldn't help be drawn to the other. For two dwarves so alike in manner they were so different in looks. Where Fili was bright like spun gold, Kili was dark and sultry, especially when pouting. Bilbo would bet that once Fili had a taste his brother wouldn't be far behind him, probably while they were gathering firewood. He would be a bit shy, a blush barely visible above his growing stubble...yes Bilbo thought. Those warm brown eyes would plead with him, ask him to ease the ache between his legs in any way he can...."Bilbo, oh Bilbo...."

"BILBO!" In a moment he was snapped out of his reverie. He looked down to see a bowl of stew being pushed into his hands.

"Oh sorry about that...I must have been lost in my own thoughts." Bilbo blushed.

"Aye Laddie, you should try 'an stay more aware of your sur'roundings." Dwalin gruffly replied.

Oh if that didn't send his imagination into overdrive.....


	2. Dwalin, Balin, Bifur....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has some more imaginary fun!

Dwalin was certainly a large and intimidating dwarf but underneath all that Bilbo could see more. Well, he could see almost everything right now because they had found a cool clear stream to bathe in. At first Bilbo had been hesitant to strip down infront of so many people he did not know, but over time he found himself becoming more and more comfortable. His gazes still lingered though, especially on Dwalin. He was a mountain of a dwarf, dark hair covered a well formed chest and a sturdy middle. Bilbo was also surprised to see that most of the dwarves wore some sort of piercing. Dwalin had two silver bars through each nipple and Bilbo blushed to even think about the glint he thought he saw under the water. 

Bilbo thought about how easy it would be for the large dwarf to pick him up and pin him to the wall. It made the hobbit shiver with delight. He would love to map out all of those tattoos with his tongue, taking him time to savor every single one....maybe Dwalin would explain what they all mean...

By comparison Balin was softer but not worse. Bilbo could see him as a generous lover, tender in a way that Bilbo hasn't felt in a long time. It brought on a wave of nostalgia and he couldn't help but picture a warm, cozy afternoon spent in bed. No rush, no fuss....just the twinkling of those bright eyes as they made love.

Again a flush rose his cheeks, which he hoped the others attributed to his state of undress. They were finishing up by the river side and a few of the dwarves had begun to sun themselves on the bank. It reminded Biblo of Gaffer Gamgee's orange tabby lounging in the yard.

Bifur sat wringing out his hair waiting for his tunic to dry. Bilbo regarded him, out of all the dwarves of the company he knew Bifur the least. Well it wasn't for a lack of trying but they did have quite a language barrier to get across. After some fumbling attempts at communication they had finally managed a somewhat successful if a little awkward way of talking together. There were still times where Bofur was needed to translate if the idea was more complicated than a 'yes' or 'no'. If Bilbo were honest he was afraid of the odd dwarf at first, his injuries and erratic behavior had startled him he was ashamed to say. 

Bilbo wondered what it would be like with Bifur. Would he be as erratic in bed as he was in everyday life? Maybe he would be frenzied and rushed like that fellow Bilbo had encountered behind the Green Dragon pub. It was cold and they clashed in a fit of teeth, hands pulling at clothing in a desperate race. For all of Bifur's gruffness he could make some very delicate toys, maybe he would be like that in bed. Bilbo shivered again at the thought of those clever, deft fingers roaming over his skin.

Just then as if he knew Bilbo was thinking about him Bifur turned to lock eyes.

tbc....


	3. Bombur, Gloin, Oin, Ori....

The road of late had offered Bilbo nary a chance to think about anything other than survival. Now that the company was safely ensconced in Beorn's large home he allowed himself a rare moment of indulgence. He was snuggled in the hayloft of the giant's barn, warm and still. He allowed his mind to wander home for a moment, to think on life as was and as it had been. His second thought was on lunch, it was almost time to eat....of course that made a picture of Bombur pop into his head.

Bombur was a jovial dwarf and of course he and Bilbo shared a love of good food, but in the end he was married with an entire army of children. Now Hobbits were known to enjoy themselves, especially when the ale started flowing. Perchance a married couple might invite another unwed friend into their bed games but never without the knowledge of the other. Rare though it was it did happen;however, Bilbo thought it best to move on to another just in case the same couldn't be said of Durin's Folk. Speaking of married dwarves Gloin was also in that category. Now Bilbo had to admire all that flaming, gorgeous hair that he sported. It was lovely. Absently he thought about running in through his fingers, would it be as soft as it really looked?

Oin was another that didn't immediately pop into his mind when he was pleasuring himself. He was nice enough and his knowledge of herbs and their uses was impressive but he didn't seem the type to allow himself any time to enjoy some harmless fun.

Biblo shifted in the hay, basking in the late afternoon sun. He was quite content at the moment and more than once entertained the idea of returning here on his journey home. From the yard he could hear the company enjoying their time in the own ways. Dori was fussing over the state of Ori's braids and how he needed to re-braid them before they got back on the road.

Ori was a keen lad; he was sweet and had a love for knitwear as well. His pouty face and gentle demeanor made Bilbo pause with a wicked idea. Running his hands along his body he thought of how innocent the youngest dwarf was and how delightful it might be to be his first. Ori would blush beautifully as Bilbo stripped him down. His tongue would map all of those freckles that had been revealed when they had taken their first out of doors bath. Bilbo imagined all the soft sound he might pull from his friend and getting lost in the moment he slipped a hand into his now tight trousers. After so long without it only took Bilbo a hand full of strokes and the imagined moans of a dwarf to bring himself off.

Bilbo sighed trying to find a place to wipe his hand. He hoped that they might have enough time to spend another night here for who knows how long it would be before he had time like this again.


	4. Ori, Nori, and of course Thorin Oakenshield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last one in this little fic. I am thinking about doing one for the Elves and Men Bilbo comes across....thoughts? suggestions? 
> 
> Thanks, as always.  
> unbeta-ed and owns nothing

Bilbo blew out a long breath he had been holding. The cold of laketown seemed to seep into him and as the crowd gathered around the company at the foot of the Master's house Bilbo tried to keep his teeth from chattering. When it was all said and done though they were given rooms in the Master's hall and a table full of food and drink. Bilbo sipped his drink slowly as he warmed his feet in front of the fireplace, listening to the eager chatting of the dwarves around them.

Once again Dori was fussing about Ori and his eating habits. Dori was a very nice dwarf and Bilbo was more than surprised by his gentle demeanor and his love for a good cup of tea. Bilbo thought he might have a lovely time with Dori but he wasn't sure he could even picture him in any way other than as friends. 

For three brothers the Ri boys were as different as different could be. Nori was everything sharp and dangerous and it made a curl of arousal roll through Bilbo's stomach. His smile was all teeth. Bilbo shivered by the fire and it had nothing to do with the cold. Nori also seemed like the type to be into what Gaffer Gamgee had once called 'unnatural bed sports' which had baffled a younger Bilbo. It wasn't until he had started fooling around with a young Proudfoot cousin that he really understood anything about binding hands and blindfolds and such. Even though he had an inkling of things like that Bilbo was sure that if he ever got involved with Nori he would learn so much more about it. 

Bilbo sighed. It was fun thinking about all of his companions but he was really starting to wear thin. Thorin had haunted his thoughts since the moment he stepped through Bilbo's door. He was undoubtedly the most handsome person Bilbo had ever laid his eyes on but his gruff attitude was off putting. He thought Bilbo was useless, or he did. Maybe if they all made it through the next trial Bilbo would finally say something. Perhaps on the mountains of gold in those lonely halls Bilbo has heard so much about, he might take Thorin by the hand. He would lead him to some semi stable pile of riches and lay down on his coat, taking the time to look into those deep blue eyes. He knows what he would say too. Bilbo had been running them through his head for a long time now....

"You have taken back everything that you have said you would..." He would say. Bilbo was sure he would be trembling under that heavy gaze. "But would you take one more thing, my King?" Bilbo saw himself kneeling before Thorin, glowing like the sun in the reflection of all that gold. He would lay back on his coat and whisper, "....would you take me?"


End file.
